Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Feghoot on Broadweigh

Category: Original Feghoots, Rated G

By Alan B. Combs, based upon a character created by Reginald Bretnor.


Ferdinand Feghoot and Fleet Officer Worf were accidently marooned on the planet Broadweigh. They were able to bring only a few artifacts with them. Feghoot had some red and white pieces of felt cloth, and Worf was carrying a large, hollow ruby called the Eye of Klingon. This important jewel was to be delivered to the Klingon government as a token of fealty by one of the powerful Klingon families — a task at which Warf must not fail.

Dead broke, the two adventurers arrive just in time for the Annual Rogers and Hammerstein Festival. It was the Law of the Land that failure to provide a suitable remembrance to Rogers and Hammerstein was a capital offense. On the other hand, doing well in the Festival could be profitable enough to speed them on their way.

Thinking quickly, Feghoot used his felt cloth to dress three tiny, indigenous rodents in Santa Claus suits and he had a race between the three animals. He placed the winner inside the large ruby. Having completed this act, Warf and he bowed to the Broadweigh nobility and walked up to claim their prize. Some of the slower witted among the audience questioned the relevance to Rogers and Hammerstein and started chanting for the death penalty. Feghoot explained that it was very relevant. Their actions represented “Yule Sprinter in the Klingon Eye.”

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