Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Driving Down The Highway

Category: Rated G

From Punster of the Year, Gary Hallock.


I was driving alone down the highway in my Mercury Mercur on my way to a religion convention and I picked up some hitchhikers. In the front seat, I had two Jewish Chinamen, (“Chinese Heebs” if you will) In the back seat I had two monks who were members of an obscure brotherhood of Buddhist jesters known as “The Buddhist Fools.” Next a spaceship landed and four guys got out with their green wives. The wives had numbers written on their backs, “1,2,3 and 4.” All four couples were mounted on magic snow skis, which they used to levitate onto the roof of my Mercur. Soon they began playing strip poker and were soon all “in the buff” (You might say) As we drove on, I noticed that the car driving directly behind us was a little Hyundai being driven by his Grace, the Pope! Riding with him was the Lord God himself! Now I couldn’t let the two of them see this crowd playing poker on my roof in the buff, so I asked the Buddhist Fools, “Please brothers, reach up and hide that crowd with your hoods.” They did and it worked! It worked very good! So good, in fact, that I wrote a song about the whole adventure and it goes like this…

“Oh Buddhist Fools, four spaceship guys and numbered wives of green. Four couples mounted on magic skis in the buff on the roof they’re playing. A Mercury, a Mercur. God shared his Grace’s Hyundi. A crowd hides good with the brother’s hood. Front seat two Chinese Heebs…”

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