Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Dracula

Category: Politically Incorrect

This is an old Halloween Special, Various versions exist. Bob Levi graced us with this one.


Dracula decided to go on a vacation so he flew down to Tuscany to hang around an abandoned castle. After a few days he became thirsty and decided to lure a luscious Italian peasant girl to the castle tower and have his way with her. When he was done, Dracula tossed her desiccated body off of the tower parapet. Over the next few days, he continued this behavior of enticing young girls to his lair, sucking their blood and discarding them from the castle rampart.

After a while, the girls were reported missing and the local polizia tracked their footprints to the abandoned castle. The police surrounded the castle one night to observe any unusual happenings. That evening Dracula had gotten one of his victims to the castle, enjoyed sucking down warm one and threw the anemic body from the tower heights as usual.

When the polizia returned to the station, the officer on duty asked what they had observed.

“Not too much,” replied one of the policemen. “Just drained wops kept falling on our heads.”

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