Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Displacement

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

From Randall Woodman [rwoodman@HOME.COM], This was published on the Groaners listserv.


There was this monkey that had been trained in a laboratory to eat using a fork. The monkey called the fork his “three-point-tool” because it had the three points.

One day, he escaped back to the jungle, taking his three point tool with him. However, he lost it, and so he set out to find it.

First he went up to a giraffe. “Hello, Giraffe,” said the monkey. “Have you seen my three point tool?”

“No,” said the giraffe. “I haven’t seen your three point tool.”

Then he went up to a zebra. “Hello, Zebra,” said the monkey. “Have you seen my three point tool?”

“No” said the zebra. “I haven’t seen your three point tool.”

Then he went up to a jaguar. “Hello, Jaguar,” said the monkey. “Have you seen my three point tool?”

“Yes,” said the jaguar. “I ate it.”

“You ate it!?” cried the monkey.

“Yes,” said the big cat. . . . “I’m a three point tool eater jaguar.”

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