Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Dental Floss

Category: Puns, Rated G

The author of the first version of the tale is unknown.


On a distant planet, the dominant population was obsessed with dental hygiene due to the fact that they had three complete receding sets of mandibles. They were so concerned with maintaining their teeth, hat the custom was to floss several times a day.

To achieve this goal, they grew a floss plant from which the fibers were extracted to make the necessary product.

Being a scientifically advanced species especially in the area of genetics, they developed a sub-species of workers by using their own genetic print as a starting point.

These clones were specifically designed to harvest the plants, but were deficient in other areas such as intelligence. As long as they were supervised, they did a good job. However, if left untended, they would usually wander aimlessly off.

From whence comes their expression: A strolling clone gathers no floss.


Ms. Scarlett responded

All right! Alright! Alright Already!!!

Josef Stalin took peoples’ rights away. No question. He tolerated no adherence to any laws other than his. Communism was kind compared to the kind of rule Stalin imposed on the poor Russians. Obviously, when his henchmen carried out his laws through the lands they were brutal and barbaric in their quest to end religion of any kind.

None were spared. Muslims, Jews, Christians; all suffered. Churches were desecrated, icons and altars destroyed. Behind the marauding Stalinites came a paltry few, somewhat kinder, elderly followers of the tyrant, who were allowing a few families to keep some of their relics, but none, not a one would allow a singe Christian to even clean up a crucifix, because, as we all know:

Stalin’s crones lather no cross.

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