Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Deer Cosmetics

Category: Puns, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

This was submitted by Terry Tallis, for which we give thanks.


In England, where deer farms are popular, owners often were vying to attract visitors and thus getting their interest in ordering deer meet in local pubs. Many owners actually experimented with beautifying their deer by dying their fir different colors (women would fawn over these), painting their hoofs, and even hanging tassels from their horns.

But what seemed to attract more attention from the visitors, one owner was using beauty shop employees to perform comb-overs for the deer. Using the small combs the beauticians usually used on humans just was not creating the productivity the owner wanted, so he enlisted the help of a local inventor and created much longer and stronger combs to create that striking Patty Page look on the male deer. He said, triumph-fully, “we are getting more bangs for our bucks.”


It also came to me that if they would go into a very active doe breeding program, there also would be more bangs for the bucks.

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