I received this one from Gary Hallock. It’s new, it’s new to me, anyway (as Gary says, that’s nearly the same thing).

I’m probably gonna show my ignorance here but then I never claimed to have anything like the intimate relationship with shaggies that Alan Combs has. From sources outside of PUNY I recently received a large batch of jokes, etc., including a few shaggies I’d not seen before (very rare) I wonder if someone out there is actually producing new ones? Naaaah! – GARY HALLOCK

Ty Cobb, after his illustrious baseball career, had a lot of trouble finding work. Back in the time Ty Cobb played baseball, even the greatest of stars earned very little, and Ty was unable to save any money to live on when his career was over. In desperation, he applied for a position as a chef at a retirement home, even though he was never trained as a chef. Throughout the interview, he was asked several times whether or not he was really a chef, and he lied each time, feeling more and more guilty about his cowardly deceit. In the end, however, he got the job.

The first day of work, he was assigned to make baked brie for his elderly clients. Not knowing a thing about cooking, he threw the cheese in the oven and left it there for two hours while he took a nap, and the cheese got all brown and burned and inedible. Ty was awakened by the yelling manager, angrily pointing to the burned lump of cheese. “I thought you said you were a chef!” he shouted.

Ty began to stammer. “Oh! I lied sir! I was so scared of being unemployed!”

“Well, look what your lies did!” stormed the manager angrily. “Ty, your yellow fibbin’ browned the old folks’ brie!”