Clinton’s Rejected Intern

By Alan B. Combs

The Annual Bulwer-Lytton ( writing contest is based upon the much stolen beginning line by Snoopy, “It was a dark and stormy night…” The contest is run each year by the Department of English at San Jose State University. The award is given to the worst lead-in to a dreadful story. This was my entry sometime before the turn of the century. I cannot find it in the collection (not that that is necessarily a bad thing).

The shame and stress of rejection were overwhelming, as overwhelming as the smell of a forgotten jockstrap at the bottom of Captain Hook’s hamper, or as bad as tripping while being chased by the bulls of Pamplona, she reflected as she thought upon the cruel fate that prevented her from being selected; after all she was smarter, more beautiful, and much more willing, and “It could have been me,” she lamented, but deep in her heart the rejected Intern knew it was close, but no cigar.

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