Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Classic about Indecision

Category: Rated G

This is a popular oldie that exists in several versions.


The most traditional version concerns the confused young man who couldn’t decide whether to mary Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind. Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long. This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation and left him for good.

Moral of the story: You can’t have your Kate and Edith, too.


I first saw this alternative version posted by Gail Oxton in alt.humor.puns.


Two eskimos were paddling in their kayak along the Alaskan coastline. They were out there for a long time, and they started to get cold. During one of their breaks they lit a fire to warm up, but tragically their boat caught fire and they drowned.

Moral of the story: You can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

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