By Bob Dvorak

Cowboy Dan was a chili lover. A chili connoisseur. And a chili chef supreme. His particular recipe used beans — lots of beans, of many types. Pinto beans. Red kidney beans. Black beans. And on and on.

Now Cowboy Dan was such an accomplished chili chef that he’d invariably won a prize at every church bazaar, county fair, and two-bit-cow-town-chili-contest to which he’d ever brought his concoction.

Naturally he accumulated a vast supply of recipe books, chili bowls, cast-iron skillets, and other items he’d won over the years. And, of course, a wallful of ribbons and medals.

Now, being somewhat vain about his prowess, as the years advanced he began to take pride in affixing the full assortment of medals to his chest when he entered a contest.

And so it was that he came to Boar Crossing one Saturday for the Great Boar Crossing Chili Cookoff. And as he strode down Main Street, his red flannel shirt fully bedecked with his complement of medals, a local turned to his buddy and said, “Who the heck is THAT?”

To which his pal replied, “Some Bean-Mix Master.”

Rich Bently was moved to remark:
Your stature was diminished when you inflicted such a horrible pun-ishment on me.

You should be Oster-sized.

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