Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Cattle Call

Category: Rated G

These are in Himie Koshevoy’s “Treasure Jest of Best Puns.”


An Australian Bushland farmer decided one day that he would sell his cattle as a cash protection against a predicted drought. He called a cattle buyer who examined the bovines and set a price. Deciding it was far too low, the farmer decided he might do better by offering them for auction at the district fair. There, the cows broke loose and trampled down a gate leading to a tent where the district band was playing “Waltzing Matilda.” They milled around the uniformed musicians and fortunately hurt no one. The crowd from the cattle auction followed the animals into the tent and cheered them on. When the auction resumed later, the cattle had gained so much attention they sold for twice as much as the original offer. This surely proves that … a herd in the band is worth two in the bush.

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