This collection of math and science jokes was found online. Some may already be on the site, but worth sharing again.
The authors to these are unknown. By anyone, I imagine.
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. “Wow,” says the barkeep, “That’s an order of magnitude.”
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/math-science-jokes/
This very inappropriate picture pun is making the rounds. It’s creator is unknown.
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-maiden/
This much-traveled tale came from Mel Lett. Endless variants exist.
A small East Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, which was a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Ted Standen, a Bubba-esque part-time worker, who was responsible … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/bubba-and-the-gorilla-problem/
This is an ancient tale which Lowrie Beacham forwarded to me.
Three Labrador retrievers – a brown, yellow and black – are sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the brown and says, “So why are you here?”
The brown lab replies, “I’m a pisser. I piss on everything — the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/three-labradors/
This is from “B.Brabant”. It was posted on the groaners listserve. The author is not known.
King Arthur was in Merlin’s laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.
“This is no good, Merlin!” the King exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when I’m on a … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-knights/
The author of this rude little tale is unknown.
A young lady goes to a new doctor for an examination, and he discovers that she has crabs. He thinks to himself “How am I going to her that she has crabs?”
After the exam he tells her to get dressed and meet him back in his office. Once there he proceeds to tell her that she has a very unusual condition. She is quite concerned and asks him what it … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-visit-to-the-doctor/
The author is unknown. I really wish I had written it, but not completely.
On a recent business trip to London I got lost between the Royal Courts of Justice and Chancery Lane (as one does) and was surprised to find myself in an area apparently called “Soho”.
A charming young man saw that I was at a loss, if not a loose end, and suggested that I might enjoy “The experience of a lifetime” for a mere pittance. I … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/in-soho/
Big groan for this one. It was contributed by Beverly McG.
A man walked into a doctor’s office with a troubled look on his face. He sat down and said to the doctor, “Doc, I’ve got a steering wheel stuck on the end of my penis!”
The doctor looked at him with a shocked expression and said, “It must be driving ya nuts!”… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/steerage-at-the-doctors-office/
Several (nameless) folk sent me this one.
Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years before. Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father’s death, the male whale says to the female “Let’s go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-whale-of-a-story/
One day in the forest, a little tree got to wondering exactly what kind of tree he was. A woodpecker happened along while the little guy as he was pondering this. He asked the bird. That big tree over there looks old and wise. I bet it knows who my parents were, but it can’t hear me from here. Do you think you could fly over there and ask it if I am a son of a birch or a … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-little-tree/
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