Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Cardiovascular Toxicology

Category: Rated G

Bob Levi tells us, “Alan, In searching your Tarzan Tripes Forever database, I couldn’t locate the following old saw. So, here’s my version in all of its glory.”


The famous movie star, Henry Fonda, was making a film in New Orleans years ago and took a liking to the local spirit called absinthe. He drank quite a bit every evening upon completion of the film’s daily shooting.

After several weeks of film making (and drinking), Mr. Fonda started having pains in his chest. He was immediately rushed to the local hospital. They took his medical history and gave him a full screening of tests. The diagnosis was that he had an enlarged heart.

Since the condition was a new one and of concern, he queried the attending physician. The doctor responded that his patient shouldn’t be surprised about the situation. “Your condition is obvious,” the physician told him, “because absinthe makes the heart grow, Fonda.”

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