Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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California Locals and the Oakland Raiders — How They Really Feel

Category: Puns, Rated G

This is from Bro Tom Vickery. I do seem to remember similar screeds about the Houston Oilers (remember?), and the Houston Texans. I am also old enough to remember when the Raiders were good.


California Law: The California Highway Patrol is cracking down on speeders heading into the Bay Area.

For the first offense, they give you two Raiders tickets.

If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Oakland Raiders.

Q. What do the Oakland Raiders and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell ‘Jesus Christ’.

Q. How do you keep the Oakland Raiders out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in Oakland in case of a tornado?

A. To Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum – they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What’s the difference between the Oakland Raiders and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. What do the Oakland Raiders and a possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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  1. Brian P. Combs

     /  April 24, 2010

    Sometimes it amazes me how little things change.

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