Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Beethoven

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This two-part pun sequence is by Bob Dvorak and Gary Hallock. It appeared in the PUNY listserv.


Beethoven was exhausted — he’d just completed a symphony and two string quartets, and had already worked up the framework for his next concerto. He needed a break.

The local travel agent showed him a spectacular photo of a moonlit night over the palm trees and beaches of the Mediterranean coast. In short order he went to Spain for a week’s vacation.

Alas, he hadn’t consulted the almanac, and not only was there no full moon that week, there wasn’t even a crescent — his retreat coordinated exactly with the “new moon” of the lunar cycle.

Relaxed but disappointed, he went home to Germany and proceeded to write the “Moonlight So Nada.” (By Bob Dvorak)


Beethoven composed one of his most famous short pieces of music while visiting Lake Lucerne in Switzerland, a beautiful place to see and one certainly capable of inspiring fine music.

Contrary to popular opinion, though, one musicologist insists that it was not actually the cooing of the local waterfowl as they nestled in for the evening that inspired Ludwig to write this piece. He declared a lunar eclipse had actually triggered the mating ritual of parasitic insects that inhabited the feathers of these waterfowl. The vigorous lovemaking of these tiny insects on the backs of these sleeping birds was so raucous that the birds seemed to give off an eerie chuckling sound.

In truth though, it was these parasites that actually made the sounds that Beethoven heard. This is likely why this popular little piece was originally titled “The loon mites in ardor.” (By Gary Hallock)

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