Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Baylor Mascot

Category: alt.callahans, Rated G

A version of this was posted on alt.callahans by Natalie Sera who asks that we be sure to report it was first told to her by her friend Mariann Benson. Thanks, and I hadn’t heard it before.


It has been my experience down here in Texas that they play *serious* football. Even the mascots are generally serious. In Houston, they have a cougar. At Texas, they have a longhorn steer. And, at Baylor, they have a bear.

This story is about one of the recent Baylor mascots. Now, you have to remember that Baylor University (AKA Jerusalem on the Brazos) is a Baptist university. They try very seriously to bring this affiliation into all aspects of university life — including the mascot.

Now, it is sad to have to tell this, but the recent mascot was a defective member of the ursine species. His right eye looked to the left, and his left eye looked to the right. In all other respects, he was an exemplary creature, so the university decided to put up with the defect. In fact, in keeping with their religious affiliation, they decided to name the animal “Gladly”.

Why? Dost thou ask why? Of course, it’s Gladly, the cross-eyed bear.

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