Atilla, The Pun

This was posted on the groaners listserv. The author is not known

Attila the Hun was riding across Eastern Europe pillaging, burning, and raping. As he came up to the next small village in his path, he brought his horde to a halt. There was a small, naked boy standing in the middle of the road. The little boy was eating M&Ms. This has nothing to do with the story, but adds a little human interest.

Well, Attila and the horde had a good laugh, and Attila decides to spare the little boy’s life. He ordered one of his men to throw the little boy off the road. The soldier got off his horse and started for the boy. When he got about 10 feet from the little boy, the little boy started peeing at the man. Well, Attila and the rest of horde had another good laugh, but it pissed off the soldier. The closer the soldier got to the little boy, the harder the stream of pee from the little boy. Before the soldier got to the boy the stream of pee was so powerful it knocked the soldier down and rolled him back to his horse.

Attila’s soldiers, one by one, tried to move the little boy off the road but each time the same thing happened.

Finally, Attila shouted, “Enough!” He got off his horse walked over to the little boy, who was still peeing, and threw him off the road. Attila walked back to his horse.

One of his generals said, “Attila, all of your soldiers, some of the meanest, roughest, toughest men alive could not get to the boy! How is it you were able to reach the boy without being knocked down by the little boy’s pee?”

Attila replied, … “I’m not affected by peer pressure.”

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