Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Another one for the Liszt

Category: Rated PG

By PunOff award winner Chris Caillouet. Let’s encourage the lad.


Not many people are aware of it, but Franz Liszt actually had a younger brother named Gary. He was quite the rebel and, unlike his older brother, who was an undisputed virtuoso of the piano, Gary Liszt chose to express himself in a style of music that approximates today’s hip-hop. Unfortunately, the mainstream culture of the day had no appreciation for the genre, so while still a teenager, Gary moved from their hometown of Doborján to a nearby village that was more accepting of him and his talents – a city that was, in fact, founded upon rap music. Gary knew that he had arrived.

Sadly, just a few months later, Franz received a telegram from the authorities of this town, and the news was not good. Apparently Gary had gotten too wrapped up in his life as a hip- hop artist, becoming a full-fledged gangsta and, ultimately, killing a cop. The telegram reported this news along with the horrifying bottom line, that Gary had been summarily executed in the manner customary for the locale.

As Franz read the news of his brother’s death, his eyes filled with tears. Just then his assistant happened by and, noticing his despair, inquired, “What troubles thee, My Lord?”

To which Franz replied, “They hung Gary in Rap City, No. 2.”

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