By Bob Dvorak

As I entered the lobby of the office building, I found my way hindered by a large monster who bore a strange resemblance to a certain famous one in Scotland.

“Excuse me, I’m trying to make my way to the Verizon office,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” said the monster, “but I’m doomed to pace this carpet that runs from the door you just came in to the door you’re headed for. Back and forth for eternity.”

“But…, WHY?” I asked.

He looked at me forlornly. “I’m the Lonely Ness of the Long Distance Runner.”