By Alan B. Combs. This was my entry in a morning P.U.N.Y. riddle contest. It took about ten minutes for Cynthia MacGregor to answer the riddle.

We all remember the Iliad and the tale of the Face that Launched a Thousand Ships. I am sorry to report, however, that the version history tells us just does not describe the reality. In fact, the lady in question was extraordinarily ugly. She could more truly be characterized as having the Face that stopped a Thousand Clocks. The only thing she had going for her was that she was an exceedingly willing, available, and generous wife of a king.

It must be said that her several lovers suffered from the terrible timing of the age, to be exact, three thousand years before the invention of the paper bag. If available, this small artifact used to cover her head would have made their life so much easier. As it was, these lovers would, for their survival, spend more time behind the lady than facing her.

Returning lovers came to use a very descriptive phrase describing their ordeal. How did they describe this journey?

“I’ve been to Helen’s back.”