by Alan B. Combs

I have described previously the peculiar malevolence of inanimate objects. There is very little evidence to convince me, otherwise.

For example, I had a recent run in with my lawn mower. It is a famous brand, but is very difficult to start. This, time I tried to stand over it to be able to give a mighty tug on the rope. It belched out a large flame — which got me. I am changing brands, immediately.

I never liked Blackened Pecker, anyway!