Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Alligator Shoes

Category: Rated PG

This comes from cousin Roger. Though he doesn’t say it, I suspect there’s a certain ethnicity of hair color involved. Other folks have said that they remember the story as a Cajun joke.


Jo wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes but was reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle on prices” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, being the determined gal we all know, she said, “Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!”

The shopkeeper said with a smile, “Little lady, just go and give it a try!”

So, Jo and Sylvia headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he pulled over to the side of the levee where he spotted that same Jo standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. A huge 9-foot gator is swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she took aim, killed the creature and hauled it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.

Lying nearby were seven more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood there, watching in silent amazement.

Then, Jo flipped the gator onto its back with Sylvia’s help, rolled her eyes heavenward and screamed in great frustration, “DAMN. THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!”

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