Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

All on a Saturday’s night

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Rated G

This is by Clynch_Varnadore and was posted on the puny list serve.

This being the place for puns, I thought I’d throw a groaner at you. I’ve just finished it and knew I’d need a captive audience. You’re it!!! (Clynch)

In the late 1800s, not wanting to be outdone by American rodeo, an English fellow decided to become a Rodeo star. Not having a horse, or any cattle, he cast about for some way to perform. His vocation was building outhouses, and he had several samples behind his house. He had also installed a couple of standing gas lamps in his yard. As a start, he decided that lassoing these objects would be good practice. After all, he reasoned, they may not be moving targets, but at least he could get the hang of the rope.

Now he needed a mount. Not having a horse, he thought a bicycle would be a good substitute, and so he grabbed a coil of rope, hopped on his bicycle and off he went. He was phenomenally successful, and quickly got the hang of it. Each day a friend of his would stop by to watch and give encouragement. Upon showing up one day, after the Englishman had been practicing for a couple of weeks, the friend noticed that the Englishman had taken to riding with no hands, and whirling two lassoes at the same time. The Englishman proceed to lasso an outhouse, then immediately followed with a perfect throw over one of the lamps, all the while singing out, “Here we go loop the loo, here we go loop the light!”

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