Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Albert Einstein

Category: Rated PG-13

This bit of history is from Bob Levi. Howell Gwin and Bob produce additional material below.


Few remember that the brilliant mathematician and Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein, married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. Einstein stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.

This postulation became known as “Einstein’s Theory of Relative Titty.”


There is a story about a layreader who pronounced one of Israel’s neighbors the High-Titties (Howell Gwinn).


Hi Alan,

I didn’t originate the Einstein story, but wish that I had. It indeed is a gem. But the Einstein pun reminded me of the following old one that isn’t in your archives. It’s a visual one, but I think that it works just fine on paper…

I remember a picture I once saw of seven naked ladies standing in a row before a wall. These lovely women supposedly represented a well-known classical musical composition. The first naked lady was facing the wall, the second one was facing out, the third was facing the wall, the fourth was facing out and the last three were facing the wall.

So what was the famous musical piece?

Rossini’s “William Tell Overture” (rump, titty, rump, titty, rump, rump, rump)

Best,
Bob Levi

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