I have Ms. Scarlett who has T.J. to thank for this tale. Don’t blame me, “Some of my best friends are Aggies.”

A scientist from Texas A&M University recently invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At the news conference in College Station announcing the invention, the scientist was taken outside by a group of cowboys who proceeded to kick the living shit out of him.