Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

AARP Q&A Forum

Category: Puns, Rated PG

This informative and useful list of AARP questions and answers was sent to me by Aunt Jimmie.

Q:  Where can men over the age  of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A:  Try a bookstore under “fiction”.

Q:  What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A:  Keep busy.  If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you’re done you’ll have a place to live.

Q:  How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A:  Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q:  How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A:  Take off your glasses.

Q:  Seriously!  What can I do for these Crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A:  Go braless.  It will usually pull them out.

Q:  Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A:  Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q:  Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A:  Storing memory is not a problem,  Retrieving it is the problem.

Q:  As people age, do they sleep  more soundly?
A:  Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q:  Where should 60-plus year  olds look for eye glasses?
A:  On their foreheads.

Q:  What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A:  “Gosh, I remember these!”

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