Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


A Sleeping Dog?

Category: Rated G

This groaner is by Gary Hallock.


The strangest thing happened this morning.

As many of you may know, I am co-owner and resident manager of a small apartment complex. Behind my house have have 15 rental units and it is my task to keep things in some sort of order.

Each morning I have to make the rounds to pick up stray beer cans and misc litter from whatever foolishness has taken place the evening before. As you might imagine, there are often some interesting things to dispose of.

Much to my distress this morning I discovered what appeared to be a sleeping dog sprawled out on the driveway in front of our dumpster. (Of course you know I like to let sleeping dogs lie, but this is the truth, I swear)

Upon closer inspection it was discovered to be neither sleeping nor a dog. It was the carcass of a semi-butchered pig!

Now we don’t exactly live in a rural area so the Lord only knows how this poor sow ended up where she did. I’ve had to call the City’s solid waste disposal crew out to haul it away and now I’m installing a sign in front of our dumpster that reads, . . . “NO PORKING – VIOLATORS WILL BE SOWED.”

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