Complete with many uncertain Allieusions, this is by Charlotte Herzele, Miss Scarlett, my unsurpassed Pun Mistress.

I thought that headline said SPAMSCARE. Now, that’s a really scary thought. We must get armour to protect ourselves against scary spam. As if the hams of the world weren’t enough to send us into high burn nation.

So, speaking of burns, there was a big fire at the San Antonio Zoo. I would have said Sand Iego Zoo, but it’s too far away and at the beach and I would have been jealous (I can’t work when I’m jealous). Anyway, there was a big fire at the zoo. Some of the larger, hungrier animals got a hip pot of moose stew out of the deal. Ellie got a phantastic deal on chard and made a large salad. Allie brought gator ade, but Ronnie the Rhino had some trouble with the zookeepers who always make a big deal out of natural disastors. This is because everything they are involved with is man made (duh). He was going to bring Tupperware for leftovers but ended up with rhino plastic. And what’s worse is he got his nose out of joint, literally, trying to get past the zookeeper, and had to have rhinoplasty. Isn’t that nasty. Can you rhyme plasty any better than that? Better ask rosecatt.