Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


A Shaggy Stone Gathers No Moss

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Another submission from Joe Blake.


A competition was held to determine who would be given the commission to create a series of bronze statues of The Rolling Stones.

The hunt went world-wide, via TV, Newspapers, The Internet, and even word of mouth. After 12 months the judges had eliminated all but 5 artists, based upon their smile, their hairstyle, their huggability, their body odour, dress sense and even their artistic ability as displayed in samples of their work.

These were the creme-de-la-creme.

Then the thorny question of who would the Foremost Artist, who would initiate the project, arose.

There was no way to meaningfully separate the competitors, so it was decided to get each artist to place into a container their highest educational degree, which would then be drawn out, one at a time to determine the order of merit.

There was a Doctor of Law, a Doctor of Medicine, a Bachelor of Arts, Certificate of Advanced Metallurgy and Welding, and a Professor of Geology.

The chairman of the adjudicating panel reached blindly into the container and withdrew a parchment.

He glanced at it, looked at the artists and said:

“Let he who is with Arts in, cast The First Stone.”

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