Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


A Mime is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Another story from Joe Blake.


Whilst Welsh miners are noted worldwide for their musical ability, there have been instances of other talents being discovered “down the pits”. One case which comes to mind was that of “Silent Llewellyn” who was, of all things, an excellent mime artist. Whilst it was not something he could exercise very successfully in the semi-dark of the workface – for example his mime of “She Stopes to Conquer” both went down like a lead balloon and was way over the heads of his audience – above ground he was lauded by one and all. So good was he that he was awarded the supreme accolade of being asked to compete at the National Eisteddfod of Wales.

Though he was very good in his own home town, he had always been among friends and was unaware of just how ruthless some competitors can be.

Thus not long before Llewellyn was due to (silently) tread the boards in the Eisteddfod, he was offered a “good luck glass” by one dastardly swine of a fellow performer, which contained a substance not normally found in such beverages. Once on stage, our hero found himself unable to control his limbs, and worse still, his tongue, as he staggered around singing loudly at the pitch of his lungs in a manner not normally associated with a scion of Cymru.

Once he had recovered the proper use of his wits he lodged a formal complaint against the villain of the piece, offering as evidence the remnants of the tainted fluid, which, upon analysis, was determined to contain a substance which produced an abnormal state of mind in the partaker.

His Nastiness was sentenced to be, as in a rugby match, kicked off the Eisteddfod and when he demanded to know the offence with which he had been charged, the Archdruid picked up the sheet and solemnly intoned:

“Administering a Mime Altering Drug to a Miner.”

Leave a Reply