These were forwarded by Bill Pardue. Thank you.

Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with Battery.

A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.

A Freudian slip: when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory. Unfortunately, it folded.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

A hangover: the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell?

A successful diet: the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana (Groucho).

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Incongruous: where bills are passed.

Pasteurize: too far to see.