Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


A Good Pun Is Its Own Reward (One-Liners)

Category: Puns, Rated G

These were forwarded by Bill Pardue. Thank you.


Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with Battery.

A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.

A Freudian slip: when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory. Unfortunately, it folded.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

A hangover: the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell?

A successful diet: the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana (Groucho).

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Incongruous: where bills are passed.

Pasteurize: too far to see.

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