Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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A Different Interpretation of Oz

Category: alt.callahans, Rated G

This tale is by Bruce E. Golightly (aka Anam) from alt.callahans, that virtual bar where peanuts are thrown at the punsters.


Anam stops to pick up a fresh drink (Black Bush Irish whiskey), and sips reflectively before beginning.

I have given considerable thought of late to the story related in the Wizard of Oz. Something about that whole story never rang true to me, so I did a little digging.

Probably all of you are familiar with the basic story. What has bothered me is that the Wizard and the witches described do not seem sufficiently adept to have been responsible for the things that happened.

My research revealed that the actual source of Dorothy’s difficulties was quite different than you might think. It seems that the entire adventure was NOT the result of accidental transportation via tornado (which is not a reasonable way to travel in any case. There is only tourist class in those things. There are no amenities to speak of, and the bar service is truly awful.), but was part of a deliberate action.

It would seem that the actual culprit was Dorothy’s little dog. He had become bored with the life of a rural Kansas farm dog, which was clearly no strain on his powers or intellect. He came up with the whole thing as a way to fight boredom.

So, you see, the entire source of the problem resided with the little dog; in Toto, as it were.

“And how did this all come about?”, you might ask. Well, to answer that, you must keep firmly in mind that things are often not what they see in fairy tales. Toto was far from being a mere farm dog or pet. He is, in fact, the Wizard of Cause.

With that, Anam gulps the rest of his drink and prepares to duck.

Copyright © 2001 by Bruce E. Golightly. All rights reserved, and displayed with permission.

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