Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

A Cold Holiday, A Holiday Cold

Category: Puns, Rated G

Posted to the groaners listserv by Lee Daniel Quinn.

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there.

One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was.

It happened again, only louder this time. “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. “Shhh!” Santa hissed. “Please be quiet!”

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is because someone has sent me a note with his name written on this paper. But I want to give him a chance to do the right thing on his own.”

Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do.

He read off the rude-nosed reindeer.

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