This merry little gem was submitted to us by Dave Wallace.
Lara Bingle (an Australian fashion model) invited Michael Clarke (captain of the Australian cricket team, and Lara’s former fiance) around for Christmas dinner a few short years ago. She didn’t claim to be a good cook, but wanted to serve a home-made meal for him. Actually, she admits to being a lousy cook.
Michael found a very dense object on his plate which was a kind of radioactive green. … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-christmas-down-under/
This came to me while I was waiting for her to do her shopping. By Alan B. Combs
My wife went shopping for Christmas at one of our local chain department stores. I can’t say I’ve really been a good boy. I can’t even say I’ve tried very hard. Thus, I am pretty much assured of getting Kohl’s in my stocking.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/something-in-my-stocking/
These puns are stolen from various spots all over the internet. Most of them are older than the internet itself.
The compilation is mine…
They say all are welcome to worship, but even the Catholic Church has to have some standards. One Sunday morning, Father Bohr was having a hard time keeping undesirables out.
First was Dr. Schrodinger and his cat. The priest said, “You can’t bring that cat in here. It looks half dead!”
An electron, a proton and … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/sub-atomic-puns/
These words of wisdom come from Bill Pardue.
I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us (not me) have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many bubbles and some rather nice chardonnay.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-holiday-warning/
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-king-size-bed/
This was published by Stan Kegel on puns@yahoo.com. It is an excellent companion piece to “The Craziest Language” and “Why is English the Lingua Franca? (aka English is Tough Stuff)”, both of which are in this collection.
So, you think English is easy, huh? Read out loud to the end and see if you still think so.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/english-aint-easy/
