All posts for the month June, 2011

Heaven Can Be Tricky

This warning was posted a few years ago on Yahoo’s shaggy dog page.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead
for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It … Read the rest...

If Airlines Sold Paint

This story is at least ten years old. What it doesn’t have are the TSA grabbings and pat downs.

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

     Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?

     Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?

     Clerk: Oh, there isn’t … Read the rest...


Found on the internet somewhere…

Lettuce PrayRead the rest...

A Legal Question…

This one is from Roger Combs.
Read the rest...

Interview: Andrew Balinsky

Andrew Balinsky is a longtime competitor and volunteer at the O. Henry Pun Off. He finished third in Punniest of Show this year. Given the high level of competition, that’s quite an accomplishment.

Brian: Where are you from? What do you do when you’re not competing in Pun-Off competitions?

Andrew: I was born a Southerner, in Autumn, in March. My parents were World War II refugees that ended up in South Africa. We immigrated to NY City, but I mostly … Read the rest...

Heard at the PunOff

I do not remember who said it, but I liked it.

May the [Mass X Acceleration] be with you, Luke… Read the rest...

Pizza Delivery

This was posted on the groaners listserv.

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI … Read the rest...

Dessert at Canard Falls

This tale by Terry Morrison was published on the groaners listserv.

The annual Chefs’ Convention was the highlight of the year for the town of Canard Falls. Preparations for the big event began well in advance and nearly every one of ‘the Falls’ 9,326 inhabitants had a hand in it, even the children.

When the big day arrived, as it invariably did each year, it signalled the beginning of three full days of fun frivolity and feasting. People ate so … Read the rest...

Interview: Justin Golbabai

Justin is the second half of the Justin Golbabai-Kelly Dupen team. They came in second in Punniest of Show this year, after winning last year.

I asked them the same questions, although they prepared their answers separately.

Brian: My wife couldn’t make the Pun Off this year, so we watched the videos on Youtube. When watching yours, she immediately asked if I was sure you guys aren’t together. Ok, so what’s the truth?

Justin: Truth is we are good friends … Read the rest...