All posts for the month October, 2003

The Undertakers

From Gail S. Angel, this was posted on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.

Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid. It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly, but there was still a good portion left for Mal to take care of. When asked why he had not just stored it all, Mel said, “The rest is for Mal to hide.”… Read the rest...

The Enemies

This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.

Once, in ancient times, there were two neighboring kingdoms who had, since Time Immemorial, continued a border war.

No one could be found in either the Kingdom of Tar or the Kingdom of Ory to tell why the war continued, or why it had begun in the first place, except to say that the two kingdoms were implacable enemies. In the spring of one year, both kingdoms had … Read the rest...


From the “Puns, Puns and More Puns” site. The author is not known.

My friend Doug came up with this one on the spur of the moment when we were walking across campus several years ago.

He pointed up at a bird-circling overhead and said, “Look, it’s an eagle!”

“That doesn’t look like an eagle”, says I.

“Well of course not”, he shot back amazingly quickly, “it’s traveling incognito, don’t you know that . . . Eagles are Masters of … Read the rest...

The Dream

This is by the prolific Stan Kegel.

A man goes to his therapist to have a dream interpreted.

He tells the doctor that he was dreaming of eating a big meal, a seven course meal. He started with the soup and was going to move on to the salad next. As he finished his soup and put his spoon down the bowl refilled itself by magic. He again finished the soup and again the bowl refilled itself. Every time he … Read the rest...

The Volcanologist

This tale is from the “Puns, Puns and More Puns” website. The author is not known.

A recent Honors Graduate of Harvard University’s Geology Department had the good fortune to be posted to the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory just as a new eruption started. As the noise intensified, his only comment was

“Magma come louder!”… Read the rest...

The Well-Lived Life

This tale has bounced all around the internet the last year. Lowrie Beacham tells us, “This is an old one, but so inspiring I thought it deserved another round…”

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2″ in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was … Read the rest...

The English Prof

From the web site “Puns, Puns and More Puns.” The author is not known.

A college freshman fell asleep in his 8:00 English class. The professor, not too pleased, threw a book at him.

“What was that” asked the startled student.

“That,” replied the professor, “was a flying Chaucer.”

Chuck and Valerie Nelson responded with the line, “Or perhaps an “unidentified flying author””… Read the rest...

The Typo?

Thomas Vickery sent me this tale. The author is not known.

A new young monk arrives at the monastery.

He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the … Read the rest...

The Convention

This is from Gilbert Krebs. It was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.

It was the annual convention of poltergeists, angels, shades and specters.

As the frolic continued and the evening turned into the wee hours, the guests began to drift, some departing and others coalescing into groups even as mortals do. Noticeable among these, was a boisterous (if unlikely) collection of nether world types and some Eastern spirits, to judge by their appearance and the … Read the rest...

The Bathroom

This tale is from the “Puns, Puns and More Puns” website. The author is unknown.

My uncle was giving me the grand tour of his nice house. The bathrooms had excessively mirrored walls, but his wife preferred not to look at herself in such a compromising position. She even went so far as to place a “modesty plant” so that it obscured the view.

“Now I don’t think there is anything wrong with mirrored walls in the bathroom,” I told … Read the rest...