Ah, Paul de Anguera’s tale of the Goodship HMS Legume continues.
The merchants of Pisa were quite pleased to buy Captain Quid’s cargo of olives. It was the entire crop of the only Buddhist colony in the region; and by this they knew they had stolen a march on their competitors in Venice. So they decided to throw a party for the crew of the H.M.S. Legume.
“Wonderful!” the First Mate enthused. “Where will the party be?”
“We’ll use this … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-tall-ship-tale-no-25-the-ball-drops/
The author of this interesting variant is unknown.
A bowling team is missing their best bowler, Dee. Her alternate Michele only averages 120 per game. The team is doing very poorly, having lost the first game of the match, when Dee finally shows up. The assistant captain is then bombarded by requests to let to take Michele out and to let Dee bowl, when she yells out, “Do not ask for whom Michelle bowls, she bowls for Dee!”… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-bowler/
This was posted as recycled humor on alt.callahans by Snarky. The original author is unknown.
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
“I’ll have a brandy…………………………………….
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………. and coke.”
The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear responds, “I dunno… I’ve always had them.”
Howell Gwin asks:
Why do radio (note the age of the joke….) … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-polar-bear-walks-into-a-bar/
Trevor Johnson inspired this quickie. It was posted on the International Save the Pun Foundation’s website (www.punpunpun.com).
The Oklahoma choir was searching for new gum slingers. Two of the senior members had lost their teeth and their constant bickering became known as the:
GUM FIGHT AT THE OK CHORALE
Chris Cole tells us that it is safe to say that as the years pass this is one that will never get long in the tooth.… Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/musical-western/
From The Joker Autobot [ctoland@pc-mac.com], the author is unknown.
To ALL MY CHILDREN and to THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, remember one thing, you have ONE LIFE TO LIVE. Today, AS THE WORLD TURNS, war is sweeping the nation, making civilians feel like they’re in ANOTHER WORLD. In GENERAL HOSPITAL, the patients who fell victim to the violence are seeking a GUIDING LIGHT in their own SECRET STORM, in SEARCH FOR TOMORROW. A man named Ryan, one of the BOLD … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-soapy-tale/
This is by Liquor on alt.callahans.
Liquor wanders over to his unreserved and somewhat neglected spot at the bar. “Tell me” he says, to no-one in particular, “What do you think of when I say ‘Borg’?”
Various answers are given – most of which sound something like “It’s from Star Dreck”. Liquor notes that if you were visiting Sweden, or even just the local tennis courts, you’d probably get answers that included “Byawn Borg” (Ok, so I don’t have the … Read the rest...
http://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-borg/