All posts for the month November, 2001

Alice and the Mock Turtle

This pun is by Lewis Carroll.

“And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.

“Ten hours the first ‘day,,” said the Mock Turtle. “Nine the next., and so on.

“What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice.

“That’s the reason they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked. “Because they lessen from day to day.”… Read the rest...

At the Oscars…

By Alan B. Combs

I was channel surfing last night and came across the latest character in children’s programming. This was an irascible, churly fellow who lives in a trashcan. His day job was to hold kitchen and bathroom tiles together and prevent water leaks. They called him Oscar the Grout.… Read the rest...

Legal Story (A Tale by Two Johns)

The first part of this tale is by John Vinson (aka John the Wysard). Both were posted in alt.callahans.

John the Wysard comes in, chuckling. “My brother… I haven’t introduced my brother Ed have I?… came up with this the other day, and I thought that the Place would enjoy it:

In a large Eastern city, the movie theaters lobbied and finally got the city council to pass an ordinance prohibiting patrons from bringing outside food or drink into a … Read the rest...

In verse logic (II)

By Clynch Varnadore of Punsters United Nearly Yearly (PUNY), this was created in response to In Verse Logic sent a few days ago.

Of course, the son of Sam Iam was famous for his philanthropy toward his creator. He was a large contributer to that group which studies mythology, named for Zeus, “The Olympic Zeusological Society”. It is a group of lawyers who jealously guard the right to the use of the Gods’ names. If a God’s name is written … Read the rest...

Clowning Around

For the country lovers, this is from

When country singer Crystal Gayle was a little girl, she had a passion for clown dolls. But her family didn’t have a lot of money for such luxuries, so her very talented mom devoted long evenings by the fire hand crafting beautiful and interesting harlequin dolls for her daughter.

Once, while creating a particularly special and intricately designed doll, she ran into a problem. The tiny blue ‘faux crystals’ that she had … Read the rest...

The Filly

By Stan Kegel

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last.

He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because she had become … a real … Read the rest...