All posts for the month October, 2000


This is by Liquor [Liquor@Sympatico.Ca] on alt.callahans.

“I am sure that none of you have ever heard of the thirty year old giant shopping and industrial mall in a small country on the eastern end of the Arabian Peninsula (Oman, if you need to know). A certain very strong-armed friend of mine worked on it as a foreman on the glazing and finishing crew. This mall was to be a showplace, but it did have a major design flaw. Just … Read the rest...

New Coin

From: Gilbert Krebs []

A spokesperson for the U. S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale. Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied, “Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call, ‘Ted’s or Hale’s’.”… Read the rest...

Moles at the I-Hop

I received this from Mitch Friedman. I learned it as a child.

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! It smells like maple syrup to me!”

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! It smells like honey to me!”

The baby mole tries … Read the rest...

Power of Molecular Biology

This is by Graham K. Glover who liked our shaggy dog site.

There was once a veterinarian who loved to hack gene sequences. One day he successfully grafted pieces of cantaloup DNA to the DNA of a dog zygote. The engineered zygote soon developed into a little puppy. The result was far less dramatic than one might expect. The animal was recognizably canine, if tiny and roly poly. Its fur had an overall orange tint. The vet raised the puppy … Read the rest...

Trimming the Shaggy Family History

Bob Levi’s wife forwarded this shaggy little story to him.

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their line had included Senators, Pastors, and Wall Street wizards.

Now they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for the children. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose: how to handle that great-uncle who was executed in the electric chair. But the author said not to worry, he could … Read the rest...

Getting To the Point

This is by Andrew Schwartz (ASchwartz@KSFHH.COM). Thank you.

My best friend, Tom, had been renting a summer home in Amagansett, Long Island for a couple of years, and I finally got a chance to come out to the east end for a visit. He loved to go on and on about Montauk Point State Park and the lighthouse there. Since it was only a fifteen minute drive to the point, and since I thought it would be interesting to see … Read the rest...

Feghoot X: The Chinese Laundry

By Reginald Bretner writing under the pen name Grendel Briarton.

It was Ferdinand Feghoot who discovered Yip Quong and persuaded him to move to the Thirty-Ninth Century.

“Mr. Yip,” he informed the Time Travelers Club, “is the greatest natural psychokineticist in all history. He put every Chinese laundry in Milwaukee 1912 out of business. He hired no help. He needed no plant or equipment. He simply sat down before a mountain of dirty old laundry, and wished it all clean, … Read the rest...

Dumas Shortening

I received this from Beverly McGuire.

The famous author Alexander Dumas met with his housekeeper and cook every Monday to discuss the household accounts and to see what needed to be purchased for the upcoming week. One Monday, while they were discussing food, the cook noted that she needed a can of shortening.

Dumas, in haste, checked off the wrong column on the order form, and accidentally purchased 10 cans for 10 weeks instead of one can for one week.… Read the rest...

The Shaggy Road Less Taken

A friend of Chris Cole sent this to him who, in turn, passed it along to me. Thanks.

It had been a quiet night at the local bar so far, but then the door was thrown open and an Interstate highway strode in. “I’m an Inter-state highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the … Read the rest...

Poetic Justice?

This is by Sailor Jim on alt.callahans.

Sailor Jim wanders in, his usually devastatingly charming eyes red and watery.

“Sorry for my rather weepy appearance, but I was just attacked for the silliest of reasons. I had written a short poem and was reciting it to my dearest, while walking her to her car, when this woman leapt in front of us and started spritzing mace all about. Well, naturally, I stepped in front of Dian and took the brunt … Read the rest...