All posts for the month June, 2000


We thank Tom Dooley who pointed out the orginal source was a Gahan Wilson Playboy cartoon from the 1960s.

A man was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said, “NIL”. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness. The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, …. “Is … Read the rest...

A Different Interpretation of Oz

This tale is by Bruce E. Golightly (aka Anam) from alt.callahans, that virtual bar where peanuts are thrown at the punsters.

Anam stops to pick up a fresh drink (Black Bush Irish whiskey), and sips reflectively before beginning.

I have given considerable thought of late to the story related in the Wizard of Oz. Something about that whole story never rang true to me, so I did a little digging.

Probably all of you are familiar with the basic story. … Read the rest...

Shaggy Viagra

This is by “Lars Hanson” [] Via: “PUNY” [].

During my conference in Memphis last week, the subject of drugs and flying came up. It turns out that Viagra can adversely affect eyesight, and therefore should not be used if one is flying. How does it affect eyesight? By redirecting the bloodflow elsewhere, it reduces the blood going to the eyes.

Without missing a beat, Al Spinelli, there from Naples, Italy, declared, “It’s a clear case of robbing Paul to … Read the rest...

Hardy Flock

This is from Sailor Jim [JJohnston@Titan.SFASU.EDU], and it was published on alt.callahans..

I don’t know if I ever mentioned the fact that I raise fowl (the straight lines are provided for free, take advantage of them while you can) on my little farm … as a matter of fact, I’ve gone as far as to do a few breeding experiments.

Just finished my latest … I wanted chickens that would be so tough and aggressive that they could protect themselves … Read the rest...

Teasing Dorothy

This is by Gary Hallock who flashes these things off like a sparkler.

There is a theme song for a gathering of those heavily chisled, macho military types who like to dress in camouflage, but still wear undershirts as their upper garments:

“Some Wear Over Tee Rambo.”… Read the rest...

The Photographer

From: Paul Croft []. Paul asks that we provide a link to his humor ezine Pure Humor, or a link to his home page. Thanks, Paul.

This celebrity is taking a shower. He has made it known to the public that he is celibate, and is firm on that fact. Even so, he occasionally feels the need to “release some built up tension”, and this is one of these occasions.

Just as he is finishing with himself, he … Read the rest...

Go, Regis!

This was from Mike Downes and published on the Groaners listserv. The author is unknown.

A friend of mine was selected to try out for the game show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” He was very nervous and wanted everything just right. While I was trying to fill his head full of useless facts, he fussed about his wardrobe. “These four-in-hands with their tiny knots are so unstylish,” he complained, “Do you know how to do a Windsor knot?”… Read the rest...

Refrain from betting

Michael Butterworth sent this to me from Good Olde Merrie…. Thank you.

A guy walks into a pub and notices two pieces of meat on the ceiling. He asks the bar man for a pint and the bar man asks, “Don’t you want to participate in our competition?”

The guy asks “What’s it all about?”

The barman informs him, “All you have to do is get those pieces of meat off the ceiling and you get a free pint! If … Read the rest...

Neutron Tide

This story is attributed to Arthur C. Clarke.

“In deference to the next of kin,” Commander Cummerbund explained with morbid relish, “the full story of the super-cruiser ‘Flatbush’s’ last mission has never been fully revealed. You know, of course, that she was lost during the war against the Mucoids.”

We all shuddered. Even now, the very name of the gelatinous monsters who had come slurping Earthward from the general direction of the Coal Sack aroused vomitive memories.

“I knew her … Read the rest...

Annual Test

This was posted today at Norm Gilbert’s “International Save The Fun Foundation” web site:

“Bartender, got any specials today?”

“Yes, we mix Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka.”

“What do you call it?”

“Well we call it a ‘Pabst Smir’ !”… Read the rest...