Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


People Afraid of Saint Nick are Claustrophobic

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

This seasonal, somewhat shaggy submission is from Joe Blake, who says:

“A very new pun. Not sure if the rest of the world knows who Lara Bingle is, but remember Google is your friend.”


Super model, Lara Bingle, decided that she was going to introduce her new range of beauty and hygiene gel products with a super Christmas promo. For one week people would be able to attempt, in one of the upmarket trendmarkets, to guess how much a huge … Read the rest...

Classical Music Food Puns

Category: Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated G

Ralph D. Jeffords said the following:

“I’ve noted that you don’t have this classic classical music composers pun. As per usual I was not satisfied with the original so have tripled the number of entries on the list to extend the groan potential.”


HAYDN’S CHOPIN LISZT AT VIVALDI’S GENERAL STORE:
———————————————–

FOOD ITEMS
———-

DELICATESSEN
Rossini and cheese
beans and Francks
chicken Balakirev
Satie mushrooms
Rubinstein sandwich
Clementi and biscuits
Delius sliced ham
Fresh Mozart-rella cheese
Oscar Meyerbeer bologna

PACKAGED … Read the rest...

A Broken Pencil is Pointless

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Jim Macaulay submitted this shaggy little guy.


Some years ago, there was a man by the name of Leroy Walter Macaulay, or Lee Wally, as he was known by friends and family, that lived in the mountains of North Carolina, in a clearing just outside of Highlands, North Carolina. He lived in that clearing with his wife, Mary Sue, and his son, Cane. Lee Wally made his living making bootleg liquor, more commonly known as moonshine, in the still of … Read the rest...

If he’d been missing a fifth appendage, they would have gone to a retailer.

Category: Rated G

Submitted by Mike Franklin.


This one I first remember telling over 40 years ago. It might be more readily grasped by you Brits out there…. Particularly those of a certain age…..

Once upon a time there was a tribe of monkeys living deep in the jungle. They were a happy bunch and would all work together for the good of the tribe. They had been working especially hard of late in preparation for a great feast and celebration for one … Read the rest...

About Belief Systems

Category: Rated PG

In a spirit of adventure, I have been looking into various current Christian belief systems. These include the Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, and Pentecostals, among others.

Suddenly, it came to me that I should visit the doctor to ask if my heart is strong enough for sects.… Read the rest...

Trying to Circulate a New Pun

Category: Cartoon Puns, Rated G

xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe. Sometimes he includes puns that are usually of a mathematical and/or scientific nature.


I'm not a huge fan.

This work is copyrighted and is licensed by xkcd under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Generic Licence.… Read the rest...

These Puns are getting Hairy

Category: Puns, Rated PG, Short Snorts

Denny Adams asked this question.


How rich do you have to be to use real poo in your hair?… Read the rest...

TV Tropes on Puns

Category: Lists

TV Tropes is a wiki about the tricks of the trade in writing fiction. Tropes are devices a writer can use and be reasonably sure they will be present in the minds of audience members.

Basically, each entry defines the tropes and lists its uses in various media examples. You can also look at particular TV shows, movies, books, etc. and see the tropes used in it.

In fairness, you should know that going to TV Tropes can cost you … Read the rest...

404: Tile Not Found

Category: Puns, Rated PG, Short Snorts

This little pun was submitted by Mike Frankly. It is just… awful…


I accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble tiles…I don’t know what to do.

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.… Read the rest...

A Thought for the Day

Category: Rated G

Sister Cathy sent this from a KFAT radio station, Boston (I think):

We couch potatoes are participating in the Fitness Protection Program.… Read the rest...