John Sugg submitted this little gem.
I was weed eating my creek bank today when I startled a lime green frog off the bank into the water where it was promptly caught by a snake. I watched as that snake “swallowed that poor boy whole.” The frog emitted a defiant ribbet just as he disappeared down the snake’s gullet. Then it struck what I had just witnessed, a frog croaking.… Read the rest…
Multi-winner in both Punniest of Show and Punslinger Ben Ziek puns on spices to score 39 points. This was a tie for first place, but he won in a poll of the audience.
Alex Petri’s Biblical skit earned her 39 points and a tie for first place, but she lost in a poll of audience noise.
Brian Agler tied for third place with his skit about politics. He won third place alone in a measurment of applause from the audience.
Andy Balinsky scored 37 points with this fabric-related skit. He was tied for the third highest points, but lost in a competition of audience noise.
The O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships was held last weekend. The first half of the competition consists of a series of prepared skits.
Thirty-one contestants were scored from 1 to 10 by six judges. The highest and the lowest scores were dropped before summing the total.
Here are the scores:
| Contestant | Judge 1 | Judge 2 | Judge 3 | Judge 5 | Judge 5 | Judge 6 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Christen DiClaudio | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 29 |
| Michael Kohl | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 |
Forwarded to us by Lowrie.
For those who haven’t heard, Washington State just passed two laws about gay marriage and legalized marijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:
“If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.”
We just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before.… Read the rest…
This listing is from Mitch Friedman, and for which we thank him. (I was tempted, but I think “thinkers” is better than “nerds”.)
1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it … Read the rest…
This was posted by our rude punster, Myke Cooper.… Read the rest…
Posted on Puns@yahoogroups.com, by Stan Kegel. The Haggadah is the text of the ceremony perfomed at the start of every Passover Sedar dinner. The author of this fantasy/satire is by an unknown graduate student working on his Ph.D.
Leader: Welcome to the Graduate student Seder. Every year we gather together to tell the story of our forefathers’ liberation from graduate school.
Participant: Retelling the story of our time in graduate school is a sacred duty. Even … Read the rest…
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